Sunday, March 28, 2010

Another weather forecast

Today in Delhi: "widespread dust"

...I didn't even know "widespread dust" could be a weather forecast! Also, I love Weather.com's graphics.

Friday, March 19, 2010

Weather forecast

I just checked the weather. It is going to be 104 degrees F this weekend.

...and it's only March.

I'm terrified for the summer.

Thursday, March 18, 2010

New Feature: Photo(s) of the Day

I will try to post a random photo or two on a somewhat-daily basis. (Ha! We'll see how long that lasts. Well, I can try anyway.) Click on "Photo(s) of the Day" above. To return to written blog posts, click on "Home."

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Lost and Found: Christmas in the Abode of the Clouds

I was going through all my blog entries today because (1) I'm bored and (2) I wanted to see what I forgot to write about. Well, I found a lost post! Apparently I wrote an entire blog post about Christmas in Shillong with Ben and Joel but forgot to click "Publish Post." So, I'm clicking "Publish Post":

As part of our Northeast adventure, Ben, Joel, and I went to Meghalaya, which means "Abode of the Clouds." We went to Shillong and Cherrapunjee, called Sohra in Khasi. Cherrapunjee is where we went hiking to the living root bridges (see my previous post about this incredible hike).

Getting to Shillong, which Ben and Joel affectionately called "shlong," took longer than anticipated. Our flight from Delhi to Guwahati, the biggest city in Assam and the gateway to Northeast India, was delayed two hours. Then our shared sumo (jeep--called sumo after the original Tata Sumo; kind of like how we might call tissues "kleenex" or in-line skates "rollerblades") took 5.5 hours instead of 3 hours to get to Shillong. This delay was caused by a "खराब गाड़ी"/"kharaab gari," or broken-down car, that had blocked the highway. By the time we reached Shillong, it was pretty late at night and we had missed the Christmas Eve celebrations, which are supposed to be awesome (and which were the reason we were going to Shillong at this time in the first place).

Police Bazaar, the commercial center of Shillong, is lit up for Christmas.

The next day, because it was Christmas and Meghalaya is a Christian state, everything was closed. Actually, Shillong is supposed to have amazing Christmas celebrations--everyone told me it's the best place to be in India for Christmas--but this year due to the economic crisis the Christmas Day celebrations were cancelled. Unfortunately, I was unaware of this. So we didn't have that much to do. We decided to check out the view from Shillong Peak, but it was totally cloudy and we couldn't see anything. Well, I suppose this is the clouds' abode, so perhaps we should have expected that.

This sign at Shillong Peak says "Don't urinate around the place." But it says nothing about pooping.

We went to a Khasi market called Iew Duh. Most of the stalls were closed for Christmas, but there were still some people selling live chickens. Hens cost Rs 100-200 (US$2-4), but roosters could cost up to Rs 400 (US$8). I'm fairly certain these chickens were meant for eating, not egg-producing.

A Khasi woman shows us a delicious rooster. Those baskets are holding live chickens.

There you have it, my lost post. At some point I should probably write about the Khasis' killer Michael Jackson moves. After all, Shillong is the rock capital of India. (Though they actually performed their MJ dances to traditional Khasi folk music, and this was in Cherrapunjee, not Shillong.) Or better yet, I should post the video. Stay tuned.

Friday, March 12, 2010

Splishin' and a splashin'

Today I went to IIT-Delhi for a meeting (TERI is collaborating with some professors there on the cookstoves project). I can't share what went on in that meeting (which is unfortunate because it was quite dramatic), but I'll share a funny pre-meeting story.

When we arrived at IIT, I had to pee. Like really badly. So I asked the only female in the room (a research assistant to one of the professors) where the ladies' bathroom was. Because the hallways of IIT are a little confusing, she escorted me to the bathroom rather than giving me directions.

There were two stalls, one Western and one Indian (squat). I looked around and couldn't find toilet paper or even paper towels anywhere. Unfortunately, I didn't have any toilet paper on me (I usually do) because TERI's bathrooms provide toilet paper and I didn't expect to be leaving TERI today. So I asked the woman if there was somewhere I could get toilet paper.

She didn't seem to understand what my problem was. "Do you not need the toilet anymore?"

"No, I do. But I need toilet paper. Is there somewhere nearby I can get some?" (I noticed a toilet paper holder nailed to the wall, so I thought maybe there was a supply closet somewhere or a custodian we could ask.)

The woman leaned in very close and whispered, "are you having... [pauses, shifts her eyes back and forth to see if anyone else is around] ...the period?"

Trying not to laugh: "No, no. I just... I wipe. I never figured out the splashing technique."

The woman just stared at me and looked totally confused. She clearly had no idea what to do.

"It's ok. I can just hold it in."

"But that is very... [struggling to come up with the right word] ...uncomfortable."

"That's ok. I'll be home soon."

On the way back to the conference room, the woman suddenly blurted out, "did you mean that napkin-type paper that wraps around a cardboard roll?"

It didn't occur to me that she didn't know what I meant by "toilet paper."

"Yes, that's toilet paper. I'm used to using toilet paper. That's how we clean up where I come from."

"Oh. See, we must have a German toilet. You're used to the American toilet."

I had absolutely no idea what she meant by this. "What??"

"Yes, the Germans splash too. But they splash in a different way than us Indians. See, that's why we don't have those napkin rolls. It must be a German toilet. You must splash."

Any Germans out there: is this true? Do you splash rather than wipe? If I ever go to Germany, should I carry around my own rolls of toilet paper?

Monday, March 8, 2010

A correction

In an earlier post, I had said that Will used the verb घूमना (ghoomna) to describe a wallet getting lost as the wallet "wandering" (ghoomna means "to wander"). Apparently I misunderstood. He actually said गुमना (gumna, without aspiration on the g and with a short u rather than a long oo). Gumna means "to disappear" or "to get lost." Sorry Will, and sorry to anyone trying to learn Hindi! (Though learning from my blog is probably a really bad idea.)

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

A funny conversation

On my way home from the tailor in Bhogal, I had a funny conversation:

Random Indian man walks up to me: Hello, are you lost?
Me: No, I'm walking home.
Random Indian Man (RIM): I see. Do you live in Jangpura?
Me: Yes.
RIM: Where are you from?
Me: मैं अमरीका से हूँ। (I am from America.)
RIM: I speak English.
Me: I just like practicing my Hindi.
RIM: Well, you don't have to with me.
Me: Fine. Since you asked me, where are you from? Are you from Kashmir?
RIM: Yes! How did you know?
Me: Well, if you live in Jangpura, you can only be from Punjab, Kashmir, or Afghanistan. And your accent sounds Kashmiri. [note: I think Kashmiri accents are very distinct.]
RIM bursts into laughter as if I've said the funniest joke he's ever heard. He continues to laugh.
Me: What's so funny?
RIM: You're so observant! But you left out a group.
Me: What, foreigners?
RIM: Yes! They have been flooding Jangpura.
Me: Yeah, I know there are a lot of foreigners in this neighborhood, but I actually rarely see them.
RIM: I see white faces all the time! Especially compared to a year ago.
Me: I guess a lot of people are coming to India these days, and there isn't enough room in Defense Colony for all of us!
RIM starts laughing again.
RIM: Do you want to grab some chai with me?
Me: Why, are you going to try to sell me a pashmina shawl or a Kashmiri rug?
RIM: No... (pause) but how did you know I run a shop that sells those things?!
This time I was the one bursting into laughter.
Me: Because you're Kashmiri!!


[Note: for those of you who don't get why this is hilarious, tons of Kashmiris own "emporium" shops that sell pashmina shawls, Kashmiri rugs, and other handicrafts. And these Kashmiri salesmen always offer you chai. The chai is an integral part of their sales strategy, which is quite effective for unsuspecting foreigners.]

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Follow-up to the previous post

Before you read this post, please read the previous post, if you haven't already.

A few questions have come up regarding my "arrest":

Q: Why did the police seek you out, and why did they want to hotel-arrest you?

A: There are two possibilities.

1. They were looking for a bribe. They probably thought I would offer them money to be freed. And yes, this thought crossed my mind at the time. However, I did not have any money on me--any cash surely would have been rendered unusable in the water-and-colors-throwing. In any case, I had no way to replenish my supply of cash, since my wallet and thus my ATM cards had been lost the week earlier, and I was down to Rs 200 ($4). (Mom, don't worry, this was more than enough to get me home--I only spent 60 of those rupees--and I have since gone to the bank in Delhi to get more cash.)

2. They wanted to exert their power over someone. And I was an easy target, being a foreigner and all.

But to be totally honest, I really have absolutely no idea. I didn't do anything wrong!

Q: How did the police find you?

A: Many people in Bikaner knew I was headed to Lakshminathji Mandir, because I had asked around where the best place for women to celebrate Holi was, and everyone gave this same answer. Once I decided this was the place to go, I asked several people for directions. And everyone within earshot eavesdrops when a foreigner speaks, especially when she's speaking in Hindi (even if it's nothing more than "Where is Lakshminathji Mandir?" and "Is it this way or that way?"). So probably a few dozen people knew I was headed to this temple. I'm assuming someone "reported" me, or something.

Q: Weren't you scared? You seem deceptively calm in your description of events.

A: No, I wasn't scared. What was there to be afraid of? That they were going to put me in jail? Nope, they had no grounds for that. That the male police officers offering me bhang in the back of a jeep would molest me or worse? No way, because they would be afraid of me reporting that to the media. They just wanted to have a little fun with a foreigner, but they weren't going to actually do anything to me. Besides, the whole situation was so ridiculous I couldn't stop laughing in my head (even though I was pissed).

Q: Show us the turban-helmet picture!

A: Ok. Here it is:

that kurta (and my skin) used to be white. and that turban is, apparently, a helmet.

More Bikaner and Holi pictures to come, in a later post.

Monday, March 1, 2010

Holi under hotel arrest

शुभ होली! Happy Holi!

Today is Holi, the Hindu festival of throwing colors (colors = colorful powders) and water on everyone and everything. It is a very fun holiday and I'll talk more about it in the next post.

Right now I'm in my hotel in Bikaner, Rajasthan under hotel arrest. Or at least that's what I call it, since I'm not allowed to leave the hotel, police orders. While I'm stuck here for several hours anyway, I figured I would blog (and stain the keyboard with my colorful Holi fingers in the process).

I was in Lakshminathji Mandir, a Hindu temple in Bikaner's old city, watching the Holi puja and partaking in the colors-throwing, singing (ok I was only clapping along), dancing, and Indian sweets-eating. It was a lot of fun (more to come about this celebration in the next post) when all of a sudden police storm the temple and two female officers grab me by the wrists and drag me out of the temple.

Police woman #1: आप क्या कर रही हैं? (What are you doing?)
Me: मैं होली मना रही हूँ! (I am celebrating Holi!)
Police woman #2, look of shock on her face: आप हिन्दी बोलती हैं! (you speak Hindi!)
Me, rolling my eyes because if they didn't think I knew Hindi, they shouldn't have talked to me in Hindi in the first place: मैं हिन्दी सीख रही हूँ | (I am learning Hindi.)
Police woman #2: क्या आप के पास हिन्दी में Ph.D. है?! (Do you have a Ph.D. in Hindi?!)
Me, trying to hold in the laughter because I've said only 2 very basic sentences: नहीं | आप मुझे क्यों ले रही हैं? (No. Why are you taking me?)
Police woman #1: मंदिर एक बजे बांध होगा | हमारे साथ आइये | चलो | (The temple will close at 1 o'clock. Come with us. Let's go.)
Me: लेकिन सिर्फ 12:45 हैं। मैं रहना चाहती हूँ | पूजा नहीं ख़त्म करता है | (But it's only 12:45. I want to stay. The puja is not finished.)
Police woman #1: पूजा आप के लिए ख़त्म करता है | चलो चलो | (The puja is finished for you. Let's go, lets go.)

Police woman #1 grabs me by the wrist again and pulls me to a motorcycle. Police woman #2 sits down on the motorcycle and pats the seat behind her.

Police woman #2: बैठो | (Sit.)
Me: नहीं! हम कहाँ जा रही हैं? (No! Where are we going?)
Police woman #2: आपका होटल | (Your hotel.)
Me: मैं helmet के बिना motorbike पर नहीं जाउंगी! (I will not go on a motorbike without a helmet!)
Police woman #1, yelling: हम पुलिस हैं!! बैठो!! (We are the police!! Sit!!)
Me, yelling back: नहीं!! safe नहीं है!! (No!! It's not safe!!) [I don't know the Hindi word for "safe.")
Both police women look really confused.
Me: Danger!
They seemed to understand now.
Police woman #2, switching into broken English: Helmet not allowed on today. Today Holi, no helmet.

During this entire exchange, a huge group of painted people, mostly men, was standing in a circle around us and watching. One purple and pink man approached the police women and gave them his turban (many Rajasthani men wear colorful turbans).

Police woman #1, handing me the turban: यह आपका helmet है | (This is your helmet.)

At this point I couldn't control myself and burst into laughter. All I could think was "helmet fail." But no one else was laughing. They seemed 100% serious.

Police woman #1, yelling in English: Put on the helmet!!

So I put on the turban--er, "helmet." Then a police man, who had been standing in the crowd until now, took my phone. He wanted to take a picture of me in the turban, apparently (that picture will be posted in my next blog entry).

Police woman #2: Now you have helmet. बैठो | (Sit.)
Me: यह turban helmet नहीं है | (This turban is not a helmet.)
Police woman #1: हाँ! यह helmet है! [grabs my wrist again, this time more tightly, and pulls me towards the motorcyle] बैठो!! (Yes! This is a helmet! Sit!!)
Me, pulling my wrist free and yelling: नहीं!! (No!!)
Police woman #2: We are helping you.
Me: मुझे आपकी मदद नहीं चाहिए! (I don't want your help!)
Police woman #2: लेकिन आप अकेली हें | (But you are alone।)
Me: तो? मैं हमेशा अकेली घूमती हूँ | (So? I always travel alone.)
Police woman #1: People drunk. Men will flirt you.

[If flirting is all I have to worry about, then I'm pretty safe.]

At this point a police jeep pulled up to the temple. The back of the jeep had about a dozen police officers, all male. The police women shoved me into the back of this jeep and instructed the driver to take me to my hotel. I told the driver where my hotel is, because at this point I'm obviously not going to be freed. All the policemen just stared at me. And continued to stare at me. Then one police officer seized my phone. He started calling random contacts and blabbering in Hindi. "ROAMING! ROAMING!" I yelled at him, because he was going to quickly spend all my money (my SIM card is pre-paid) and he was bothering my friends. Then he passed around my phone to the other officers so they could look through my pictures, delete my call history, and mess around with the features on my phone (when I finally got it back upon reaching the hotel, my phone was on flight mode and had a new background).

These policemen also offered me bhang lassi. Bhang is basically ground marijuana mixed in milk, and you drink it rather than smoke it. Everyone consumes bhang on Holi, but I thought it was odd that policemen were offering me drugs--especially when they were supposedly protecting me from the drunk people.

(By the way, I knew exactly where in the city male-only drunk Holi was taking place, and I was purposely avoiding it. The Lakshminathji Mandir's Holi celebration is meant for families, and I was surrounded by women and children there. It was definitely safe.)

The hotel employees looked super nervous when they saw the police jeep pull into their driveway. The police instructed them not to let me leave the hotel. They asked what happened, and the police said "we found her celebrating Holi at Lakshminathji Mandir." The hotel guys looked totally dumbfounded, as if there was absolutely nothing wrong with this and they could not understand why the police took me away (I don't understand it myself). As soon as the policemen left, they laughed and told me how stupid the police are. I responded, "हाँ, यह बकवास है!" ("Yes, this is bullshit!") and they laughed in agreement.

Then I spent 2 hours talking to the hotel employees in Hindi (or rather, trying to). When I became mentally exhausted from all the Hindi, I went to their Internet cafe. And here I am. My train leaves at 8pm and then I will be free from this hotel arrest!