Tuesday, November 1, 2011

How I accidentally joined a dating website. ...and why I might stay.

(apologies to those of you who may have received emails from me about this)

As many of you know, OkTrends is the greatest thing ever. If you don't know what that is, you should click on that link. Here it is, again. And again. Seriously, go to the site already! If you're being stubborn and not clicking on the link (or maybe you just don't want to be taken away from my blog?) (if that's true, right click and open it in a new tab), basically OkTrends does fairly serious social science research using the huge OkCupid member base for data. OkCupid, if you don't already know, is a dating website, so this social science research is about, well, dating.

I was reading an article on OkTrends about what makes a good profile picture (according to user preferences, attractiveness rankings, and messaging patterns), and at the end they advertise a little app they created to tell you which is your best profile picture--without saying that you needed to be an OkCupid member to use the app. I clicked on it because it was 2am (...kinda like right now), I wasn't thinking clearly, and I thought, "hmm, it would be cool to know which is my best photo" and BOOM! it automatically created an account for me, somehow pulling my info and photos from Facebook.

I've been unable to delete or deactivate my OkCupid account, because apparently you need to be a member for at least a week first. Now a week has passed, and I no longer know if I even want to delete my account. Not that I have any interest in online dating, mind you. It's just really nice to get an email a few times a day that says "UserX is checking you out! We're letting you know because he rated you 4 or 5." That's out of 5, by the way. It's a sweet little ego-booster to receive periodic emails telling you that some guy thinks you're hot. ...even if it's a little creepy.

Speaking of creepy, gems like this message keep me entertained:

Even though you have nothing in your profile, you pics say it all about you...
I don't know if you know, you seem to be somewhat like Kareena Kapoor character in Jab We Met...
I'm new in Boston, work & stay in Cambridge...I wish if we could be in touch.
Please don't be shy...worst case scenario, we end-up getting married...LOL

For those of you who don't know, Kareena Kapoor in the movie Jab We Met looks like this:


We're pretty much identical twins.

I kind of also want to comment on "worst case scenario, we end up getting married LOL" but I don't think I have to. I think that speaks for itself.

And another gem:

hey, how are you? so i have no idea what the correct protocol for this online dating thing is...but im going to be real with you. you have a gorgeous smile and beautiful eyes!

When someone says "I'm going to be real with you," I kind of expect something negative to follow. Or I think of that Dave Chappelle skit, "When Keeping It Real Goes Wrong."

It will probably surprise none of you that almost all of the guys who have sent me messages are Indian (including both of the above messages). One of the few exceptions was an Irish Sikh guy. Yes, you read that correctly. Irish Sikh. Think purple turban with bright red beard. I don't really know what to make of that.

I actually don't have anything in my profile, other than photos. I'm guessing I'm getting the attention from Indian guys (or guys interested in India) because some of my photos are taken in India, and I'm wearing a salwar kameez in two or three of them. And my screen name is a Hindi word.

As a result, India is ranked second on my "match map" (basically, the countries in which you have the most matches) after Sweden (Sweden seems random to me). Meanwhile, Pakistan is ranked second for worst matches, trailing Malaysia. Interesting, because India and Pakistan have similar cultures and, one would think, similar guys. Also interesting because the countries are arch-nemeses. Interesting yet again because I've filled out zero information about myself, so I'm not sure how OkCupid is coming up with any matches for me in the first place.

By the way, the verdict on my profile pictures? This one is the best:


I'm guessing because motorcycle = badass. Even if it's kind of a small, old, beat-up motorcycle.

So, what are your thoughts? Should I stay on this dating website, if only for the ego-boosting "someone thinks you're hot!" emails and amusing yet slightly creepy messages? Or should I delete my account, now that the first week is up and I don't have any real interest in online dating?