Monday, August 1, 2011

Transition: it sucks.

Bad news: I leave India on August 11. Waaaaah I don't want to leave!!

Good news: I land on American soil on August 12. Pretty excited for a fully-automatic washing machine and dryer (no more handwashing clothes! no more monkeys stealing my underwear off clotheslines!) and showerheads with hot water (no more cold bucket baths!). Ok, and maybe I'm excited to see my family and friends, too.

From India to the United States, from working/traveling to studying. This transition is going to be super tough. I'm already dreading the giant American grocery stores (reverse culture shock is worse than the initial culture shock) and the endless problem sets (I've always hated homework, and now I'm out of the habit).

I'm handling this transition terribly. Just thinking about the fact that I'm leaving India sparks a flood of tears. I'm going to be a complete mess in the airport. I'm already a mess.

I'm spending my last 10 days traveling around North India visiting some friends, to say my final goodbyes. I already said my goodbyes to a few people in South India, including Prashanth and Indrani (but I made the grave error of not going over to Tamil Nadu to say goodbye to some Pondi people), and a Delhiite who won't be around later, Anand. The prolonged process of saying goodbye really, really sucks. Not only because the whole leaving-India thing feels drawn out this way, but also because the goodbyes could be permanent. I like to think it's not, but I really don't know if or when I'll be back in this country, my home for two years. And it is precisely this uncertainty of return that is giving me a nervous breakdown about leaving.

In conclusion, transition sucks. :'(

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